There have been many significant and emotional moments for me in this move. Filling out change of address forms… Turning over keys… That strange feeling of standing in your now vacant space for the very last time.
Even though I’ve been unofficially living at the Dome since early fall, the actual act of moving in has been emotional for me, and in his way, for Wylie too.
We’ve been bickering. Which is remarkable because we hardly ever argue. Now it’s silly little things like asking him his opinion on the minutiae of merging of our things, and his frustration at being asked so many questions. I guess I didn’t ask too many before? Unlikely.
Another friend of mine has recently gone through the same transition, going into business and moving in with her lover. They’re just a few weeks ahead of us, and have had the same adjustment phase. She and I agreed, it’s the transition that’s tricky.
That got me thinking about teaching again. When I was running the Taekwon-Do school, parents would come in and declare that their pre-school age child was no longer interested in coming to class. This was almost always not the case. I could tell, because after the parent’s struggle to get them there, the student really enjoyed class. In fact, sometimes they didn’t even want to go back home!
The thing is that people, no matter their age, do not like change. Even moving from one beloved activity to another, can cause an upset, let alone changing a permanent address. It’s an immediacy thing. For the most part, people like what they have, more than what they could have. But change is constant, and for the most part, a good thing, if you say so.
This is not my first rodeo, so I remind myself, and share my own advice with you…
- This will pass.
- Take time to acknowledge the passing of an era, an apartment, a relationship or whatever you’re transitioning from and keep your eyes focused on the direction you’re heading in.
- Take a moment and reflect in the quiet of the empty apartment. Remember the good times and be grateful for all you’ve learned there. Remember who you were when you moved in and acknowledge how much you’ve grown since then.
- Keep moving forward. You have a vision and are in pursuit of it. You can’t simultaneously hold on to what you have and reach for what you dream of with both hands. Some things will fall away and it is okay.
- It’s okay to feel sad too. Take time for, and be kind to yourself.
- Be present. This is part of the ride too, don’t miss it!